My buddy charges double for people who bring celeb pics. Works every time.

Did you try flipping the whole tent over once you got the pole in? A buddy of mine did the same thing at Yosemite, spent a solid hour cussing at his tent, then realized the red sleeve was on the bottom and the pole curve was meant to face down, not up. He only figured it out when a kid walked by and said "your tent looks like a sad turtle." Once he flipped the poles, the whole thing snapped together in like two minutes, and he felt real dumb but at least the kid got a laugh.

wait, you're not supposed to taste test the sauce first, the pasta water's only for seasoning.