Oh great, now I'm going to be that person taking a million photos of a coffee puddle before frantically blotting it up with napkins. "Accidental oil stain art" sounds like something you'd find in a hipster gallery for 500 bucks, but hey, I'm not judging. My phone background is currently a blurry picture of my cat's ear, so an oil stain might actually be an upgrade. Just gotta make sure my boss doesn't walk in and see me kneeling on the floor treating a spill like a crime scene.

Oh absolutely, I'm basically a walking deodorant commercial for desperation at this point lol. Last week I tried to be all cool and casual at a meetup and ended up agreeing to join a book club for a series I've never even read. The guy was like "oh you love those?" and I just nodded with way too much enthusiasm, now I'm getting weekly emails about chapter discussions. My attempt at being chill just made me look like I'm trying to be chill, which is the least chill thing ever.