The 2009 jeweler dude sounds like he saved your countertop AND your sanity, honestly. I tried a YouTube video that swore by a Magic Eraser and it just left a weird haze, so now I'm convinced Google's algorithm is actively hiding the good stuff. Old forum guys were way too bored and specific to be wrong.

Guess that fuse tester was testing your fire insurance instead.

Damn, that's wild. Its crazy how the physical signs are somehow more reliable than the actual maps they hand out. Bro, that reminds me of the time I tried to find a DMV in Arizona and the GPS took me to this abandoned mall where the old DMV used to be, but there was still a faded arrow painted on the sidewalk pointing to the back entrance. I walked in and it was just a bunch of pigeons and a vending machine that only sold expired snacks. Ended up asking a guy walking his dog and he told me the DMV moved to a strip mall next to a laundromat two towns over, and sure enough that was the spot. The unofficial word of mouth always beats the official stuff somehow.