Man, that story about the fuzzy edges and $40 in ruined goatskin hurts just to read. I've had tools promise way more than they deliver too, so you're not alone in getting burned like that.

Sell your DNA, get a cousin. Fair trade?

Man, that tape sounds like every family reunion I've ever been to. It starts with everyone being polite and normal, then two hours in somebody's uncle is just standing in the yard staring at nothing while the rest of us pretend not to notice. Stuff like that is everywhere if you look, half-finished ideas and weird left turns that nobody bothers to explain.