It took me 4 years to notice my book club was just agreeing with me

I started a mystery book club in Denver back in 2019 and for like 4 years I thought we were all on the same page about everything. We read 'The Girl on the Train' and everybody loved it, or so I assumed. Then last month a newer member brought up at our coffee shop meet that she actually hated the pacing and felt the main character was annoying. The whole room lit up with people nodding and saying 'oh yeah I totally felt that too' and 'I didn't want to say anything.' I realized I had been picking books and leading all the discussions and everyone was just going along with whatever I said to avoid conflict. Nobody wanted to be the one to disagree first. Now I pass a notecard around before we even start talking so people can write down their hot takes anonymous like. Has anyone else had their club turn into a yes circle without noticing?

2 comments

2 Comments

angela_knight1mo ago

Oh man, anonymous notecards are genius lol

cameron7701mo ago

You ever think about how many people just nod along because they don't want to be the one to rock the boat? @angela_knight nailed it with the notecard thing, but you could take it even further. Have everyone write their reactions before the discussion even starts, like a quick vote system so nobody feels pressured to match the room. I've seen some clubs do a "first draft" where people text their raw thoughts to a group chat before anyone speaks out loud. That way the silence doesn't force everyone to agree with whoever talks first. It's wild how much honest talk comes out when the social pressure gets taken out of the equation.