One remark from a bank teller in Moose Jaw changed how I pitch investors

I was in line last week trying to deposit a business cheque and the teller asked what I did. I said I run a cleaning startup, she nodded and said "oh, like the big franchise ones?" and I over-explained our tech and growth plans. She just smiled and said "sounds like you're trying too hard to sound like Toronto." That stuck with me. In our last pitch deck we had all these buzzwords about scaling and disruption. But honestly, our edge is that we know the local market, we can get to any house in under 30 minutes, and we don't subcontract. The investor we met with yesterday actually admitted he was tired of hearing the same 10 phrases from every pitch. Has anyone else had a moment where a random person outside the startup bubble made you realize your pitch was off? How did you simplify it?

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