That chat with my old boss about 'soft skills' hit different after I got passed over for a lead role at my company in Dallas last month

He said the guy they picked wasn't better at the actual work, just better at making everyone feel heard in meetings, and now I'm wondering how much I've been ignoring that part of the job.

2 comments

2 Comments

rivera.susan8d ago

Why are we acting like making people feel heard isn't part of the actual work though? That's basically half the job when you're leading a team. I get that you're good at the technical stuff, but if nobody wants to follow you because you never listen or validate their ideas, then you're missing a huge part of what makes someone a leader. The guy they picked might not code faster or manage projects better on paper, but if he gets people to actually want to show up and contribute every day, that's a real skill that matters. It's not about being fake or just nodding along, it's about building trust so your team doesn't feel like they're just cogs in a machine. Maybe take a hard look at how you handle meetings and if you're actually making space for others instead of just being right all the time.

mason2097d ago

You said "it's about building trust so your team doesn't feel like they're just cogs in a machine" and that's exactly the part most people miss. Here's something nobody's bringing up though - sometimes the "nice" leader gets picked because upper management sees them as easier to control, not because they're actually better with people. If you're too agreeable and never push back, you might make the team feel warm and fuzzy but you're also not fighting for their budget or defending them from unrealistic deadlines. Being heard is great, but being protected from corporate nonsense is what actually keeps people from quitting.