You try calling the county clerk offices directly? A lot of those old historical society printings never made it online and the clerks usually know who still has copies stashed in a closet. eBay works but you'll pay $30 for something that was free at a garage sale last year, so hit up the small town libraries and museums first.

Stale cornbread muffins got left out overnight and made unreal stuffing the next day.

Wait, green sludge?? That's wild, I've only ever seen the brown varnish stuff. Six months is all it took to turn your gas into swamp water?